Ask your kids to give "thanks" at Thanksgiving.

Children can have fun giving thanks - and it's a great habit to learn.

At Thanksgiving try to get your kids involved in the spirit of Thanksgiving. Perhaps this is a good time for your child to write a than you note to her teacher of her coach for the positive influences in her life.

Or maybe even write a close friend to say nothing more than, "thank you for being my friend." The idea is to teach kids to appreciate the wonderful things in life - perhaps the things they otherwise take for granted and say, 'thanks.'

This 'spirit of gratitude' can be made into a fun project with scissors and colored paper for the younger kids and/or try calligraphy pens or a computer designs for the older kids. And no, try to send it snail mail and not email. A physical letter of thanks is not only appreciated more, but it is increasingly rare.

Saying "thank you" is free. But the benefits are worth millions.

Have fun and make it an adventure!

Segway into Family Fun!

One of the biggest attractions to hit the holiday and vacation scene is the Segway Personal Transporter.

What is this? It is a motorized scooter on two wheels that you ride standing up. You might have seen them in a few new movies or for rent at your favorite resort, theme park or holiday spot.

You can ride around an area - peddle-free, and take in the sights and sounds of destination (tours are typically two hours). The Personal Transporters are small enough that you can stop and take a break for a while and then jump back on.

Typically young kids aren't allowed to ride them, and helmets are suggested if not required at most locations.

This is a fun especially for mom and the kids will love it,too. The experience is non-stressful and exciting. Currently segwayguidedtours.com is offering tours in over 350 locations around the world - from Paris and Spain to Chicago and Las Vegas.

Maybe this isn't the year to splurge, but it's always time for an adventure. If you and the kids haven't tried a Segway Human Transporter then you're in for a happy surprise and a great new adventure.

Our Mothers & Grandmothers and the creative spark

"And so our mothers and grandmothers have, more often than not anonymously, handed on the creative spark, the seed of the flower they themselves never hoped to see - or like a sealed letter they could not plainly read."

- Alice Walker

Where would the world be without the undeniable 'creative spark' at Halloween time and the fantastic costumes and creations mothers and grandmothers make.

A big Thank you at Halloween!

The Kids are Alright - The book

Looking for an interesting new book as we head into the chill of November?

Check out, "The Kids are Alright," by the four Welch children. Their father gets killed in a car crash and then three years later their mother gets diagnosed with cancer. After a heroic and horrific fight (on the part of the mother and the children) she dies. The kids end-up being separated and sent to different foster homes (the oldest was 19-years and was considered an adult). The separation was to be worse than the the deaths of their parents.

The story is about love, loss and the power of family. The kids eventually find their way back together and bond over shared and 'unshared' experiences.

Visit their website and look at their family photos. The book is a good case against dividing sibling when they are sent off to foster homes. Perhaps, the book is a great lesson on how children should be treated when tragedy strikes.

A great read for any mother (or non-mother).

The Welch kids web site: http://thekidsareallrightbook.com

Old enough to be my Mama's Mama: Motherhood over 40 years.

Women are having children later in life. In fact, the birthrate for women between the ages of 40 - 44 years has doubled in the last twenty-five years.

One reason is the economic incentive to establish a career first and then settle down to raise children. Or perhaps its a yearning to sow 'wild oats' before committing to long-term motherhood. Whatever the reason. Here are some women who are not only in the 'public eye' but are raising children when may women their age are raising 'grandchildren.'

Beverly D'Angelo is 57 years and is raising twins. A year before turning 50 she had the babies with former Godfather, Al Pacino. Desperate housewife, Marcia Cross, now 47 years, had twins when she was 45-years. Geena Davis also had her first baby after 45 years (and two more). Holly Hunter also had twins at 47 (she is now 51).

Brave? Crazy? Blessed? Only these mothers know for sure.

Rent "Dracula" for the kids

With Halloween around the corner nothing beats the classic, 1931, movie, Dracula. If this old fashion film doesn't get the kids in the spirit for the holiday try other Bela Lugosi movies, such as, the Bride of Frankenstein (1939) and the Bride of the Monster (1956).

Pop a bag of popcorn, grab a cup of hot chocolate, and crawl under the blankets to watch this trilogy of frightening horror movies.

What makes them ever scarier today? It's Bela Lugosi's bithday (born in 1884), and maybe his ghost will come to your home screening, and sit next to you during the movie.

Now that will make a 'memorable' movie night. Spooky, eh Mom?

Parenting by Bette Davis

"If you've never been hated by your child, you've never been a parent."

- Bette Davis (who died today in Paris in 1989).

Would you have kids for your kids?

Appropriately enough, today is the day in history when Mrs. Pat Anthony, who was 48-years-old, was a surrogate grandmother to triplets for her daughter, Karen Ferreira-Jorge. Ms. Ferreira-Jorge was 25-years-old. The triplets were born in Johannesburg, South Africa in 1987.

The question as to whether you'd sacrifice your health and body for your off-spring (as if you haven't done that already) by bearing children late in life is as complex as it is emotional.

Don't we all want our kids to be happy - yes?

Would you have kids for your kids? Or is this asking too much?

Let us know.

Fed-up lawyer dumps kids out of car.

A New York woman - who is a well-to-do lawyer, was put in jail for the night and slapped with a retraining order keeping her from her children after 'dumping them' downtown in White Plains, New York.

The story goes the kids were fighting in the back seat of the car and they wouldn't stop -- yes, we've all been there. And then, she (the lawyer mother) kicks the girls (12 & 10 years) out of the car.

The twelve-year-old daughter caught up with the car, but the ten-year-old became lost and ended up at the police station. When the mother went to retrieve her daughter from the station she was thrown in jail.

Wow.

The New York times said, "One terrible moment does not a bad mom make." Questioning the police decision to throw the Mother in jail.

Another woman in the Huffington Post commented, "Modern mothers face tremendous pressure to be perfect in every way, and sometimes, those expectations male 'otherwise sane women' do some crazy things.'" This women suggests going to www.TruuMOMconfessions.com if you want admit to outbursts and your kids driving you crazy.

What do you have to say? Right or wrong?

"America's Worst Mom"

When journalist, Lenore Skenazy, put her nine-year-old son on the New York City subway she caused a media storm. They called her, "America's Worst Mom," but Skenazy strongly defends her actions and calls for childhood independence and freedom. She states, "Adults once knew what we have forgotten today, Kids are competent. Kids are capable. Kids deserve freedom, responsibility, and a chance to be part of the world."

Skenazy rejects the "parenting expert." She insists these people only tell us "what we're doing wrong and why it will warp our kids forever." When Skenazy told the expert what she had done (let her 9 year-old kid ride the subway) and why (to give him a little independence, freedom, self-reliance and responsibility) the expert looked at her "like I just asked her to smell my socks."

I have a nine-year-old myself, and although I am not sure I would put her on the New York subway, I have put her on an airplane to Europe (alone) since she was eight-years-old. Her sister traveled domestically by air alone at three-years-old. Many mothers think I'm too liberal.

I sent my twelve-year-old to boarding school (she wanted to go), and allowed her to ride a London train across England (alone) that same year. Am I encouraging independence and a sense of freedom and responsibility or am I, too, a wayward mother? Is it better to let the kid be a bit adventurous (and maybe a bit at risk) or coddled(and perhaps even more at risk)?

Where ever you draw the line - or not, as the case may be. There will be judgements made, and eyebrows raised about your actions. But 'the proof is in the pudding' as they say - if you can raise a self-sufficient, independent, confident child does it matter how you get there? After all, isn't America made of individuals, and doesn't that means individual mothers making individual insights and calls on mothering their offspring?

Isn't that diversity what makes America great, and what, as they say, "makes a horse race."

Would you like your nine-year-old ride the New York subway? Worst mom or Adventure mom?

(Lenore Skenazy has a book out, Free Range Kids.)

Around the world with your kids?!

Have you ever dreamed of traveling around the world with your kids?

If the answer is yes, then there is a book you must read.

Pick up John Higham's, "360 Degrees Longitude." He and his wife, September, took their two kids (11-years & 8-years) on a trip around the world. The trip lasted 52 weeks.

Wow! How did they do it? Well, John tells his readers in detail how they managed; but mostly this feat of family travel was accomplished by having a good attitude, understandable and workable rules, and realistic expectations.

One thing they did do was let the kids help set the agenda - which helped create a family 'team' atmosphere. They also didn't over-pack a day with too many activities. They set reasonable schedules and stuck with the policy of one major event a day. The rest of the day was free time where the family allowed themselves to explore and enjoy their surroundings.

Of course, there were souvenir limits placed on the kids (and the adults). The kids still received their normal allowance and were allowed to purchase one thing per continent, but kept coins from each country.

Want to learn more on how this family did it? Get the book. For more fun read it together as a family and plan your own adventure. Maybe taking on your State, instead of the World.

What's the biggest family trip you've ever planned? Let us know!

Are you an Eco-friendly Mom?

Hey Moms!

In this age of 'Eco-friendly' political correctness, you can't be too careful buying your kids toys. Consider an Eco-friendly dollhouse. The dollhouse is complete with solar panels and recycling bins. Even better, the dollhouse, itself, is made from green materials. Check it out on www.hearthsong.com.

For those future 'Julia Morgan' architects, try building blocks made from pine that is sustainably harvested in France (same place Julia became the first women to get her degree in architecture - now that is a great role model for your engineering genius). Go to: www.kaplatoys.com

Every kid wants a bike. Try this starter bike found at www.skiphop.com. The three-wheel cycle is made from reclaimed wood and has 60% post-consumer recycled plastic wheels. It's the old 'Big Wheel' gone politically correct! Get it at $249.

Do you have a favorite Eco-friendly toy?

Need something to worry about?

If there is one thing mother's do well, it's worry.

Yes, we worry when we need to, and we often worry when we don't. That is the nature of being a mother. You're never emotionally separated from your offspring regardless of their age or where they may roam in the world.

Recently, however, I read a couple of disturbing facts that are worth worrying about. The first one has to do with MySpace. It has been reported (by Harper's) that since 2007 over 90,000 MySpace accounts have been deleted due to the fact they were created by registered sex offenders.

This says nothing of about the number of existing accounts that have slipped through the cracks. The bottom-line is if your child is into social networking online, and many are, be careful of who your child communicates with and occasionally monitor the communication. I believe in privacy,too, but these child predators are clever, often disguising themselves as another young child. Just beware and always discuss with your child who she talks with online, and investigate a new friend.

Secondly, It was also reported (In Time magazine)that of the 100,000 kids that are rushed to the emergency room each year in the United States (due to accidental poisoning); that up to 70% of the children had overdosed on common over-the-counter medication. Make an effort to purchase childproof bottles and keep medications in a locked cabinet. If your child it allowed to take medication my herself, make clear the importance of taking the correct dosage. Its easy to think that is two aspirins make your headache feel better that 12 will make it disappear altogether.

Both of the above dangers typically occur within the home environment. Don't get complacent because your kids are within the confines of your otherwise safe house. But then again, you probably don't have anything to worry about. Relax, motherhood only lasts a lifetime (yours).

Dad's Who Go Away & Don't Pay.

A women often thinks she has finished her final battle when the ink dries on her divorce decree. Unfortunately, in many cases it's just the beginning of the fight. Statistically, 85% of women are awarded custody of the children. Less than half of those women will receive the full amount of their court ordered child support payments. It is estimated that close to 30 billion dollars has been left unpaid to custodial parents. And 90% of that money is due to women. (Nice Girls Don't Get Rich, Frankel).

Clearly, the burden of raising the child falls on the mother, who due to motherhood itself, is perhaps least able to financially go it alone. What women need to remember when seeking the child support is that it is not about the 'relationship' any longer and that the money does not belong to the her. She is only the guardian and custodian of the money due. In fact, the money belongs to the child. So, when you go to fight for the child support money, it's better to see it as a fight for what is fair and just for your child and not you. (If you were fighting for alimony then it is your money.)

You can't let a father just skip away from his financial responsibilities to his child. Remember, it is his responsibility as much as yours, and don't let him convince you otherwise. You need to remain objective and unemotional in your conversations. Don't let yourself fall prey to screaming matches and name calling. And if you do have a valid court ordered payment due don't let him 'brainwash' you into thinking you're being 'greedy' demanding it. You have to protect yourself and your child. This is the time that you must be a fearless mother bear to your cubs.

If possible, get support from friends and family when you demand your payments. Try to be rational and non-confrontational. It is understandable that food, clothes, shoes, and all the other childhood gear costs money. In fact, it is estimated that it costs $250,000 to raise a child to adulthood.

Make a record of payments, and the times you have requested payments. This will be very helpful if you need to go back to court. And don't forget that many courts award interest on late payments. If you need to report him to the authorities do it. You cannot let him financially abandon the child. The court has determined what is fair and just and you need to make him live up to his obligations. And don't feel guilty. You're the parent who is towing the line - not him.

If you need help there are several agencies that will assist you in collecting the missing child support payments. The National Child Support Enforcement Association (www.ncsea.org)or check out the Administration for Children and Families. You can also try your local district attorney. You might be able to attach liens, and garnish savings and checking accounts, wages, Social Security benefits and more.

You might also have him thrown in jail. While jail will give him something to think about, it prevents him from earning money for the benefit of the child. So you need to weigh the 'pros and cons' before sending him to the slammer. But if you haven't had any other success getting your back child support sending Daddy to "time out" may be just what he needs to learn his lesson and become a responsible parent. Good luck and let us know if you have anything else to say.

Why? Why, oh why, become a mother?

Do children actually make parents happy? Or are they just little terrorists?

Research suggests that the correlation between having children and gaining happiness is zero. After all, this is a tough and often unrewarding job. How many days and nights are spent wrapped in worry. There is the demanding toddler or worse the surly teenager. Research says that prospective parents often focus on the 'illusions' of parenting and not the uncomfortable realities.

Often ignored is the mundane routine of doing laundry, making beds, cleaning up playrooms, bathrooms, doing the dishes and making the meals - night after night and year after year. But these everyday chores are often overlooked in favor of the 'idealist moments,' for example, the child's first holiday, the first day of school, and graduation. 'Picture perfect' moments when the kids are dressed in their finery and and you're basking in the sunshine of the 'grand and gloriousness of motherhood. But is a lifetime of stress, worry and obligation really worth the Kodak moments?

The London Mirror's, Miriam Stoppard, says that the joy of having four children and eleven grandchildren has brought her, "more joy, love, reward, satisfaction, and fun" than any "love affair, career high, or financial windfall." She concedes the there is "endless conflicts between being a good mum, a good employee, and a good partner," but she thinks the balance still swings in favor of motherhood.

However, Michelle Cottle ,in The New Republic Online, talks about the "incomprehensible bliss" of child-rearing and the "grinding anxiety." She talks of a feeling of "immense vulnerability," and a general loss of freedom. She states, Once you have kids you can erase the word 'carefree' from your vocabulary." But, she advises, "...go ahead - take the plunge. It will probably make your life more fulfilling," unless your child "winds up on a clock tower with an automatic weapon."

While our kids can often seem like little terrorists (not something you want to mention at airport security) we, as mothers, have to wage our own mini-war on terrorism. Whether it is your two-year-old throwing her cereal bowl at you, or the teenager taking the car without permission. At the end of the day, we mothers are at the front lines of "Homeland Security," in our own homes, everyday. And that's how its always been - and perhaps, always will be.

What do you think? Are your kids terrific or terrorists? Tell us about your "Homeland Security" program?

A tough job - made tougher!

If you believe motherhood is easy then you haven't been a mother.

It is one of the 'toughest jobs you'll ever love,' and sometimes (maybe more than sometimes) you won't love it at all. It is easier to get into motherhood than to get out. Once you're in, you're committed for life.

Once you fully realize what you've gotten yourself into there's no turning around. Its requires long hours, a substantial portion of your time and money, and potential educational and career setbacks. But we do it - and gladly. Yes, of course there is a 'payback' of love and 'on again - off again devotion,' the yearly Mother's Day card, and belonging to a fraternity (or should I say, sorority) of women who give birth, raise kids, and thereby, 'understand' the demands, pitfalls and bonuses of motherhood.

But society doesn't always make it easy on us. For example, in Missouri, a woman was kicked out of the local Burger King because her 6 month old baby wasn't wearing shoes and thereby violating the 'health code.' Really? One of the least unhealthy aspects of entering and eating at Burger King is whether a baby is wearing her booties. But, it's always something isn't it?

If you're one of the health conscience mother's who not only makes sure your baby has foot gear on at Burger King, but also applies sunblock - you could be in even bigger trouble. Ha! The mothers who have said 'to hell with the sunblock' or just blew it off all these years will love this. Researchers now say that 70% of children lack sufficient vitamin D (and girls were found more likely to be D deficient). The lack of vitamin D contributes to the following: rickets, heart disease, cancer and diabetes. The use of sunscreen blocks the UVB rays that the body needs to make vitamin D - and so, your sunblock is dangerous, too.

Now they're saying to mothers - let your kids play without the sunblock, but only for a 'limited' time, and then apply the sunblock. What a tightrope! Cancer from too much sun or cancer for too little sun. Wow. What is a mother to do? Punt, I guess. Who knows? Michel Holick of Boston University School of Medicine says that, "Vitamin D deficiency has insidious, serious long-term health consequences for children." Maybe the sun is not such a bad thing, after all?

The best advice for mothers is to eat your Burger King meals outside. Leave the booties off the baby and let the little feet absorb the sun. You won't be violating the 'health codes' and by the time you finish the fries the sun-consumption should be just about right. But then again, I'm not a doctor... just a mother trying to navigate.

What do you think?

Welcome to Motherology Academy

Motherology is the study of the magic and madness of motherhood.

Adventure Woman University is offering a Master's Degree in Motherhood (fabulously fictitious). Every mother who is a mother deserves this degree. Who works harder and longer than mothers? Mothers are doctors always on call, lawyers is constant negotiation, accountants handling the bills, pyschologists trying to make the right decisions, and teachers trying to convey a moral message, (not to mention, cooks, waitresses, housekeepers, gardners, taxi drivers and a million other things).

Adventure Woman University wants to recognize all of the mothers who have the "toughest job there is to love," by awarding you a long over-due degree; a "Master's in Motherhood." (Fun, "Master's of Motherhood" tee-shirts coming soon).

Refresher classes in Motherology will be starting on Tuesday, September 1, 2009, and will continue on Tuesdays and Thursday for the Fall term. Just visit the Blog and we'll make sure you have a seat at our Basecamp Campus. Hope to see you Tuesday.